What exactly happened in Arizona yesterday?
Do you ever fall into a deep sleep, wake up and realize that you still might be in the second level of “Inception”? Of course, you do. This is a dream-wake. It can happen in the morning after an ten-hour monster sleep, or you may experience a dream-wake after an epic 15-minute power nap. We all know the feeling. You rise up from your bed and stumble around slowly while reciting words from the dreamland your brain still lives in. This rare and troubling experience happened to me last night.
“Oh, the Dodgers won the World Series.”
Yeah, sure, that happened yesterday, right? I used to live in Los Angeles and always hoped to experience a World Series at Dodgers Stadium. For a brief moment yesterday, I was able achieve this dream, but from a thousand miles away and in my underwear. Wah Wah Wah.
“Oh, the Dodgers are in a pool.”
This is a thing that happened. As I snapped out of my dream-wake, I realized that the Los Angeles Dodgers had not won the World Series, but had won the National League West. Not only that, they were in a pool. We’re all happy for you, Los Angeles, but I think you might be in a dream-wake. The winning streak was spectacular, Puig-Mania has been amazing and Clayton Kershaw is having a historic year, but wow – pool? Whereabouts at Chavez Ravine is this pool you may ask. It’s not in Los Angeles, friend. It’s in Arizona. That’s right, the Dodgers beat their arch nemesis, the Arizona Diamondbacks, and proceeded to jog out to center field and violate their pool. Don Mattingly, where were you during all of this?
Listen up, fellas. Don’t you go in that pool. Hey. Hey! No pool today. You wait until we get back to Los Angeles…you just wait. But…maybe I am going to walk back to the clubhouse now and won’t see you for a few minutes. How about that, huh? All right, I’ll see you soon in the clubhouse (snickers). Puig, come here. Hey, listen. Listen good. I know you can do “the worm”. That’s right, I’ve heard about it. I’ve heard about, Puig. Go ahead and have the time of your life in the pool, but when you’re done I want you to come back to the clubhouse and do the best damn worm you’ve ever done. Understand? The best one ever.
Sure, that conversation didn’t happen, and perhaps Los Angeles should not have cannonballed the pool at Chase Field, but the Dodgers are still in a dream-wake. Can you blame them?
You thought the Puig worm dance was a dream? It is real.